70000 Tons of Metal 2011

Published on January 29th, 2011

January 24-28, 2011

Majesty of the Seas (Royal Caribbean)

Miami, FL – Cozumel, MEX – Miami, FL

Bands:
Agent Steel
Amon Amarth
Arsis
Blackguard
Blind Guardian
Circle II Circle
Cripper
Dark Tranquillity
Death Angel
Destruction
Dusk Machine
Ensiferum
Epica
Exodus
Fear Factory
Finntroll
Fobidden
Gamma Ray
Iced Earth
Korpiklaani
Malevolent Creation
Marduk
Moonspell
Nevermore
Obituary
Rage
Raven
Sabaton
Sanctuary
Saxon
Sodom
Sonata Arcitica
Swashbuckle
Testament
The Absence
Trouble
Twilight of the Gods (Bathory tribute band)
Tyr
Uli Jon Roth
Unleashed
Voivod
Witchburner

Review:
Pre-Cruise
Holy fuck, 70000 Tons of Metal was probably the best thing I have ever done! Ivan and I arrived in Miami the day prior to sailing. Our hotel was pretty shitty and we got very little sleep that night. Our intentions were to get to the Port of Miami around 10:30am, but since the shuttle service only ran at 11 and 12, we opted for 11am. After we checked out, we waited in the lobby for the shuttle. About 10 minutes later, the lady from the front desk tells us that the shuttle will only be coming at 12pm because all the roads to the port are closed off due to a police funeral. We waited another hour at the hotel, but by the pool this time. Finally our shuttle arrived and we were taken to the pier.

DAY 1

When we were in line for security, we saw the guitarist from Blind Guardian. After security, we got in line for our Sea Pass. There, we passed by Moonspell. Next was waiting in line to actually board the ship. Behind us in line was Swashbuckle. It was exciting to see all the bands boarding just as us regular folks. We finally go on the ship probably around 1:30. Besides, dropping some stuff off in our cabin, the first thing we did was head upstairs to the Windjammer Cafe to grab some food. I was too excited to see the ship to eat, so we started our exploration 10 minutes later. First, we checked out the pool stage… which wasn’t really a pool stage at all. The crew were in the very early stages of building it and we watched them start to cover up the pool before heading over to the other side of the ship to see the Viking lounge. After that, we headed down to deck 5 and saw the Chrous Line stage. We could see the Blind Guardian gear in there, which made Ivan very excited. We saw the Schooners bar and casino on our way out of the Chorus Line. Next was Boleros on deck 7, then finally the Spectrum Lounge on deck 8. We passes a lot of bands’ cabins on our way to Spectrum, as they were all staying on 8.

After running around the ship like crazy and running into a lot of forum folks, we went back to the Windjammer to get some real food. We ran into Arien and Yves from Epica, so I told Yves that when they came to London, ON, I didn’t get a chance to meet him and asked to get a picture. The first picture on my camera was Arien, Yves and I. How exciting! At 4:30 we were required to go to a Muster Drill. It must have been the loudest muster drill the crew has ever experienced. Everybody was just screaming and yelling. It was hilarious! We were supposed to set sail at 5pm, but the pool stage was still not complete, so we sail time changed to 7pm. The first bands were also supposed to start at 7pm as well, Exodus on the main stage (Chorus Line) and Arsis on the club stage (Spectrum). So when 7 o’clock approaches he head to the Chorus Line… but the line is super long, so we went to see Arsis instead. We stayed for 2 or so songs. And then decided to get a good spot for Nevermore on the pool stage. We waited for a bit on the pool deck and then at 8 (when Nevermore is supposed to start), some guy comes on stage and says, “Nevermore will start in 45 minutes, go check out Exodus”. So, everybody goes back inside to see Exodus, but we just wanted to relax, so we just skipped Exodus.

We ran past Arien and Yves from Epica again just as they made an announcement that all bands would now be delayed by 45 minutes. So we all were like, “oh man, 45 minutes!” So Arien put his arms around Ivan and I and started walking us in the direction of the bar and said to us, “Come on, let’s go have some drinks!” I honestly don’t know why I didn’t go, but I told him we were headed in the other direction and said see ya. Finally, closer to 9 Nevermore started playing. I was real close at first, but some asshole douchey Canadians beside me started moshing like crazy and since the floor really didn’t look too safe, I decided to bolt it. I watched the rest of the Nevermore show from the second level. Then I wandered down to the Chorus Line to catch a few songs from Gamma Ray. I stayed for about 5 songs give or take then headed back to the pool stage to see Sonata Arctica. I only watched about 5 songs of Sonata as well before heading back to my cabin for a snooze before Unleashed came on (time was approx 11:30pm).

Because everything was running almost an hour behind now, I set my alarm to go off an hour after Unleashed was scheduled to start (2:30am). So my alarm went off, I was pretty groggy and really didn’t want to get up, but forced myself too, not really for Unleashed, but I really didn’t want to miss Finntroll. I noticed that Ivan had come to bed sometime during my nap too. Anyway, I head up to the Chorus Line, where I expected Unleashed to have just started their set, but Blind Guardian was still on!!! I stayed for Mirror Mirror (the song they were currently playing) then headed upstairs to get food. Windjammer was closed, so I headed upstairs for pizza. I ran into some forum folks: Ryan, Jake and his band mate, and Margie. We chatted for a while then headed out to the pool stage to see Finntroll, I missed Unleashed completely. I don’t even think Finntroll started until past 3am. Anyway, I had a really good spot, and the band sounded great… except for maybe Skrymer who was too drunk to even play. He messed up at least one solo. Finally at around 4:15am I stumbled back to my cabin, set the wake-up call to 9am and passed the fuck out!

DAY 2
9am rolled around way too fast, but I got up, headed upstairs for the “forum breakfast”. The planned area was roped off, so now where? I spotted Lulu from the forum and we looked around until we saw Rob and Jim. Tim was at the table next to us but joined our table shortly after. A few people walked by to say hi and after Rob and Jim left, Michael joined us and ordered 3 cokes for breakfast. At around 10:15 I headed outdoors to see Cripper, and just in time to see Britta’s stage dive and another 4 songs. Cripper weren’t too bad, but not really my style. I returned to my cabin to shower and dress and returned to the pool deck to hear about 2-3 songs from Agent Steel. Grabbed some more food and got in place for Tyr. I talked to Karl and Audrey and their friend until Tyr came on. The sun was beaming down and the breeze was super nice… and Tyr just fucking kicked ass! Heri complained it was too hot and they were melting, but it was actually quite perfect. Gunnar’s bass strap broke and Heri joked they could keep playing, we wouldn’t even notice the difference. So while the strap was being “fixed” (aka duct taped) Heri tried to be funny by telling jokes about why the chicken crossed the road, and why did the police man cross the road (because his dick was in the chicken or something to that effect) then apologized to any policemen, stating that it was just a joke and not his personal opinion of police officers.

After Tyr’s phenomenal performance, I ran down to the Chorus Line to catch some Sabaton. I saw almost their whole set, only leaving toward the end to run back to the pool stage to see Ensiferum. Jarkko from Korpiklaani was hanging out at top enjoying Ensiferum along with Hansi from Blind Guardian. Ensiferum were awesome, and I really wish I didn’t have to leave during their set, but I really wanted to meet Moonspell, so I left about 40 minutes into their set (missing the last 20 minutes). I got down to Boleros and waited until Trouble and Dusk Machine left and then I spotted Kevin and Rachel in line, jumped in with them and got autographs from Obituary and Moonspell, and even got a Moonspell pick. After the meet and greet, I hung around waiting to get a group picture with Moonspell. After that I was going to just wait around until Ensiferum was supposed to sign, but then I learned that the schedule that printed off from home (2 days before the cruise) was wrong and Ensiferum would be signing on Thursday and Finntroll were now signing at 4:10. So I ran down to my cabin, dropped of the Ensiferum CD insert and grabbed the Finntroll one, then ran all the way back to Boleros to snap a quick picture of Death Angel and then got in line to meet (select members of) Finntroll. After Finntroll was the Absence… had no idea who they were, but oh well, got their autographs on a crappy piece of paper. After that escapade, I just went right around in a circle to get back in line to meet Epica. Everything seemed so delayed that I was afraid I was going to miss Moonspell. Luckily I was almost front of line, so I said a quick hello got their pictures (by the twos), got quick autographs from some unknown band that looked ridiculous, only to find out after meeting the first three guys that it was Sonata Arctica and then I quickly took off to the Moonspell show, making it just in time.

Moonspell was the deciding factor (back when only 10 or so bands were announced) that I wanted to be on this ship, so this was very exciting to me. They told us they were playing Wolfheart in it’s entirety, but they lied. After skipping An Erotic Alchemy to play Alma Mater, they changed it up and played Opium and Full Moon Madness. It was fucking amazing, definitely my new favourite show of the festival. Took a break afterward and got some food. Then headed to the pool stage, where I saw Rachel again, to wait for Epica. The waiting paid off, got front row, but it was a little hard to see since the stage was so high up. But I still had a lot of fun, especially watching Oliver in deep concentration reading his sheet music. The instant Epica was done, I ran down to the Chorus Line where Amon Amarth had already started. Found a spot towards the back and watched the rest of the show. After Amon Amarth, I decided to take a short snooze until Korpiklaani came on, so went down to the cabin and set the alarm. Unfortunately, I totally missed Korpiklaani, I just couldn’t seem to get out of bed to see them. I really regret it, but I’m sure I would have gotten really sick or felt like supreme crap had I gotten up to see them.

DAY 3
The ship docked in Cozumel while we slept. By the time we finally woke up and had breakfast it was already noon. We left the ship and headed to a beach (Mr. Sancho’s I think it was called), when we got out of the taxi, the guy said “Welcome to Cuba”. Wait what? Anyway, the beach was nice, but the weather was just too cold. After about an hour and a half, we headed back to the ship. We relaxed on the deck 12 just watching people walking and swimming. We saw Skrymer of Finntroll leaving the pool, then after about 15 minutes we saw Terji of Tyr in the pool and Heri of Tyr leaving the hottub. We snapped a few photos trying not to look like creeps too much. Closer to 7pm we gathered at the doors for the indoor Epica show. Just as Epica started their set, the ship started sail again, causing for some pretty wavy waters. During the second or third Epica song, we saw the drum platform slide across the stage about two feet. As soon as I saw that I started recording, wondering if it would happen again (fortunately for Arien, it didn’t). Epica’s set was great!

I grabbed another bite to eat (had to keep up the energy), then headed over to the Spectrum lounge to check out Rage. I had never heard Rage before, except a small sample I listened to before flying to Miami and I was impressed with the small amounts I heard. Anyway, I sat with Joey for a bit during the first half of the set, which I really enjoyed. After Joey left, I got up to take a few pictures but ended up having so much fun that I stood the rest of the show, fist pumping and singing along during the last song. Rage definitely blew me away (and impressed me the most – by far – out of all the other bands I hadn’t heard before the cruise). After Rage, I headed back for more food and ran into Joakim, singer for Sabaton, and Johan, singer from Amon Amarth. Got my pictures taken with them, then headed back to the Spectrum to check out Unleashed. I stayed for about 4 songs or so, but had to leave because it was too smoky and I felt like I was going to pass out. I went back to the pizza place and had a few slices. I talked to a few people who were getting sick from the rocking boat, but besides the smoke, I felt fine. About 10 minutes before Ensiferum were scheduled, I went down the Spectrum lounge.

Ensiferum put on a great show, someone even threw an inflated sheep on stage and the bassist had his way with it. And this time, I got to stay for the entire set, but because I stayed to the very end, I missed the first song from Tyr in the Spectrum lounge. I was pretty far back during Tyr’s second set so didn’t take many pictures. But at the end of their awesome show, I managed to grab myself a copy of the setlist. On the back was the letter they received regarding booze on the cruise. Apparently the cruise ship couldn’t give out free beer, so they each got a $50 on board credit (Anika and I had a real good laugh over this while waiting in the Miami airport on disembarkation day). Took a quick look through karaoke then headed to bed. I wish I would have stayed longer in the karaoke bar though, I heard a lot of amazing performances happened there (including Warrel Dane of Nevermore, Matt Barlow of Iced Earth, Petri Lindroos of Ensiferum, Johan Hegg of Amon Amarth, members of Finntroll, members of Tyr, among others).

DAY 4
Woke up and put my swim suit on, I wanted to jump in the pool at least once during the cruise, so headed up for a quick breakfast, caught most of the Sanctuary set and jumped in the pool. It was fucking cold! But I toughed it out and stayed in for about 5 minutes. I watched the rest of the Sanctuary set while I dried off. Luckily I didn’t have a lot of concerts today because I was at the meet and greets for a good portion of the day. At 2pm was Ensiferum and Dark Tranquillity. Michael Stanne has quite the elaborate signature by the way. Anyway, said quick hellos to Ensiferum and got individual shots of the band members. Then got back in line to meet Korpiklaani and Tyr. I was a little thrown off when Korpiklaani seemed like jerks. They told me that I wasn’t allowed to get pictures until after the meet and greet. Oh well, I still took the pictures. Then I got Tyr to sign the setlist that I had snagged last night. First I met Gunnar, who questioned where the setlist came from and told me I shouldn’t have it. Then was Kari, who said, “This looks like my handwriting”, “it probably is because I got it from the drumset” I replied, he gave me a quick look of “you shouldn’t have this” again. Then Heri questioned the setlist too, asking where I got it. I told him from Kari… well the drums rather. He just shook his head. Apparently I really shouldn’t have gotten that setlist! All the more valuable. Terji didn’t say anything about the setlist. As soon as I finished with Tyr, Ensiferum was just ending their photos with fans session, so I quickly ran up and got my picture with them too. Hung around for a bit and got my picture with Tyr then ran across the room and got my picture with Korpiklaani. The singer seems pretty nice, but the rest of the band seems out to lunch.

I rested my feet for a bit then got back in line to meet Amon Amarth. They were signing the same time as Iced Earth, but I skipped them because the line was just way too long. Got pictures of all the guys in Amon Amarth, they seemed like genuinely nice guys. I was going to just hang around and get a group shot with them, but as I was about to put all the stuff signed back in my cabin, I spotted Simone from Epica doing some shopping. I paced back in forth waiting for her to exit the shop (I didn’t want to bother her while she was busy), then I realized I had all this Amon Amarth sway in my hand, so I quickly ran down to my cabin, dropped off the Amon Amarth stuff, ran back up, and just in time too, she was just exiting the shop. Rachel was also waiting, so we got our pictures with Simone and tried to get pictures with Oliver too, but he kinda disappeared, so no luck there.

After my Simone encounter I headed up to the pool stage to maybe catch a glimpse of Death Angel, where I ran into Ivan taking to Arien (with Yves and Isaac) from Epica. I wanted to be like a little fan girl and shout “I got my picture with Simone!” But figured, since he was talking to half of Epica, I better not (at risk of making a total fool of myself). I took a few pictures of Death Angel then headed back inside as the weather had taken a huge drop. Put extra clothes on and returned to see Sabaton. The sun was fading and the lighting was such that pictures didn’t turn out without the flash, and they didn’t turn out with the flash (too far away). So I couldn’t take many photos, but I did enjoy the show a lot. Right before the last song, the singer, Joakim, said, “I’ve had this fantasy, it might sound gay, but it’s not, that I would jump into the crowd and you guys carry me to the pool and throw me in.” So he gathered some strong Norwegian viking men and toward the end of the song, he took off his shirt (to reveal a small Lady Gaga shirt underneath). He got on the crowd, who then walked him to the pool and threw him in. It was pretty epic. Everybody was running all over the pool deck trying to get the best picture or video.

After that performance, we grabbed some supper and then just waited outside for the Korpiklaani set to start. We waited for about a half hour, but at least we were right in the front (which I really wanted to be since I missed their first show). They opened with Vodka, which set the mood – the mood of crazy drunk metalheads dancing to folk music! At some point a huge beach ball started flying around. At first the security guards took it, but after about 2 minutes they threw it back into the crowd. Then during Happy Little Boozer, the ending song, Terji from Tyr, Paul from Blackguard, and Admiral Nobeard and Commodore RedRum from Swashbuckle came out carrying a bucket of beer. Terji now had to take over for Jonne on guitar, while Jonne drank a portion of his beer and sprayed the rest on the fans. It was a fucking fun show!

Grabbed an apple then headed back outside to get a primo spot for Moonspell. Their first set was phenomenal, so I knew I wanted to be right in the front for them the second time. After waiting an hour and hearing the guitarist doing mic check singing the chorus to Abba’s Fernando. Finally Moonspell came on and started with Finesterra and Night Eternal then played Irreligious in full with the exception of A Taste of Eternity. The show was fucking incredible, and Fernando seemed a lot less annoyed with the sound guy this time! After the show, I grabbed some real food then headed to my room for a “rest” – which really was packing and made me very sad that this incredible experience was almost at an end. I returned to the pool stage right before Amon Amarth came on, but by this time it was getting really fucking cold. I was really suffering, so I decided to watch Amon Amarth from the Viking lounge. The view wasn’t too bad, except the distance, and you got pretty decent sound in there, but the group of people next to me were really annoying and the girl had the most annoying laugh in the world, that after about half an hour of Amon Amarth, I headed back down.

I grabbed a slice of pizza then went down to the Chorus Line to wait for Finntroll. It was a little sad that I got there 10 minutes early and there was nobody in line. By the time the doors opened, maybe 10 people were in line. I got a front spot and waited. I could hear one of the crew members say “we are already 2 minutes behind, let’s just start.” But I knew something wasn’t right… nobody was standing behind me. I turned around and there was literally only a front row. You could hear the guys saying “where is everybody?” I assume most people were at either Amon Amarth still or just finishing with Nevermore. So the band waited for another 10 or so minutes before they came on, which by that time, a lot more people finally joined the crowd. Finntroll’s second set was great, but Vreth again asked if we were tired. It was only 1:45am by this point, so we weren’t that tired. Skrymer seemed more on his game than the first night. Towards the end of the night they played Jakten’s Tid, where Jonne from Korpiklaani came out and did the yoiking. Jonne looked like he was having a lot of fun!

Finally it was the end of the very long and exhausting cruise. And while it did seem to be the longest four days of my life, it was also the most amazing time I’ve ever had. Before we went to bed, we swung by the karaoke lounge and watched for a bit. We saw Will Carroll from Death Angel sing Billie Jean, soon after Death Angel’s guitarist Rob Cavestany joined in. We saw Michael Stanne of Dark Tranquillity checking out the karaoke too, but we didn’t see him sing. After about half an hour, we decided it was time to get a little shut eye. Afterall, we did have to be up by 7am.

DAY 5
The alarm goes off at 7 and it is nearly impossible to get out of bed, we manage to get ready and out the door in time to make it to Boleros by 8am, which was our holding place. We didn’t have time to get any breakfast because we thought we would get called between 8 and 8:15… boy were we wrong. As we sat there starving and drinking tea, we saw a few bands walk into Boleros, including Korpiklaani, Moonspell and Epica (honestly probably more, but I couldn’t tell you who anymore). By 8:30 they called all American’s to debark. And we waited… and waited. Finally around 10am they told us we could leave. So we all piled down the stairs into line, and the line looked pretty long. We felt like we were getting screwed, but not as screwed as Moonspell, who were so far down the line it ended up going back up the stairs. Anyway, we feel like we are getting closer to leave then we realize that the line doesn’t go around the elevator, it goes THROUGH the dinning room (much longer than we thought). Then the guy in front of us starts playing some shitty metal and I’m tired and my feet are sore, but we had to wait… forever! We probably go out of the ship around 11 or 11:30, then we had to wait in another line for customs. In this line, Arien and Yves from Epica were in front of us. So I asked Arien about the drum platform’s slide across the stage during their second show, he told us he thought he was going to fall over, but must still play the drums! Arien actually remembered we were from Canada, which was cool. It was nice talking to him while we waited in line.

Finally after another half an hour, we parted with our new friend Arien from Epica, and we found ourselves in another line for taxis. Tyr were a few people in front of us and I watched them pile their gear into a taxi van and head off, then finally we got our cab and arrived at Miami International Airport. Once inside we met a lot more people from the cruise and shared stories while waiting (we had like 2-3 hours so it was a pretty good wait to pass the time). I saw Korpiklaani wandering in the airport too, it was so neat to see all the bands doing the same thing as us regular jack-offs. During the flight to Toronto I slept part of the way, then once we were half there, I took out my camera and started reliving the experience already. I really wish it could last longer or happen more frequently, and I learned a lot this round so I know how to improve my experience in the years to come. Must remember to DO MORE KARAOKE! You just never know who will show up!

DAY 1 PHOTOS:

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